What is EMDR Therapy?

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing. While the name sounds complicated, the therapy itself is often experienced as gentle, contained, and surprisingly relieving. EMDR is a well-researched approach that helps people process distressing memories and experiences so they no longer feel as overwhelming or stuck in the present.

Many of us carry experiences that our nervous system hasn’t fully digested. Even if an event happened years ago, it can still show up as anxiety, strong emotional reactions, self-doubt, nightmares, or a sense of being “on edge” for no clear reason. EMDR works by helping the brain do what it naturally wants to do: make sense of what happened, put it in the past, and move forward.

How EMDR Works (in simple terms)

When something overwhelming happens, the brain can struggle to fully process it. Instead of becoming a memory that feels finished and distant, it can stay “alive” in the body and nervous system. This is why certain sounds, situations, or interactions can suddenly bring up strong emotions or physical sensations, even when you logically know you’re safe now.

In EMDR, we gently bring attention to a memory or experience while also engaging in a form of bilateral stimulation. This usually involves moving your eyes from side to side, or sometimes tapping or tones. This back-and-forth stimulation helps the brain reprocess the memory, allowing it to soften, shift, and integrate.

You are always awake, aware, and in control. EMDR is not hypnosis, and you don’t lose control or relive experiences in a dramatic way. Many people describe it as noticing changes naturally unfold, rather than forcing anything to happen.

What EMDR Can Help With

EMDR was originally developed for trauma, and it is widely used for experiences such as accidents, medical trauma, childhood experiences, or significant losses. Over time, it has also been found to be helpful for:

  • Anxiety and panic
  • Phobias
  • Relationship wounds
  • Low self-worth or harsh inner criticism
  • Grief and complicated loss
  • Feeling emotionally stuck or easily triggered
  • Stress that feels stored in the body

You don’t need to have experienced something “big” or dramatic for EMDR to be helpful. Many people seek EMDR for experiences that felt confusing, overwhelming, or emotionally lonely at the time, especially if they didn’t feel supported.

What a Session Feels Like

EMDR therapy is always paced carefully. Before any memory work begins, we spend time building safety, trust, and resources so you feel grounded and supported. This preparation phase is an important part of the process.

During EMDR, you might notice thoughts, emotions, memories, or body sensations come and go. There is no “right” way to do it. Your role is simply to notice what arises, while your therapist helps guide and support the process. Many clients are surprised by how manageable the experience feels, even when working with difficult material.

Over time, memories that once felt charged often begin to feel more distant, neutral, or resolved. Clients frequently report feeling lighter, calmer, or more compassionate toward themselves.

A Gentle, Client-Led Approach

One of the strengths of EMDR is that it doesn’t require you to talk in detail about everything that happened. You share only what feels comfortable, and the work respects your pace and boundaries. Your nervous system leads the way.

EMDR is not about erasing memories. It’s about helping your system understand that the experience is over, and that you are safe now.

If you’re curious about EMDR or wondering whether it might be a good fit for you, you’re very welcome to ask questions or discuss how we could explore it together. Healing doesn’t have to mean reliving the past – it can happen in a way that feels supported, respectful, and empowering.

Transform Your Relationship with Imago Therapy

How Imago Relationship Therapy Can Transform Your Connection

If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in the same arguments with your partner – maybe you’re tiptoeing around certain topics, feeling distant, or longing for more understanding – you’re not alone. Romantic relationships can be beautiful, but they can also be incredibly hard. We all carry emotional baggage, tender spots, and unmet needs that show up most intensely with the people closest to us.

Imago Relationship Therapy is a gentle, structured approach that helps couples move from conflict to connection – and to feeling safe, seen, and heard.

What Is Imago Relationship Therapy?

Imago Therapy was created by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, who were both fascinated (and challenged!) by their own relationship. The name Imago means “image” in Latin – and it refers to the unconscious image we form in childhood of what love and connection feel like.

This image gets shaped by our early experiences with caregivers. If love felt safe and predictable, we might seek that out. But if love was inconsistent, emotionally distant, or filled with conflict, we may be drawn – without realising it – to partners who stir up those same feelings. Why? Because deep down, our nervous system is still hoping to complete what was missing back then.

Imago Therapy helps us understand these patterns with compassion and curiosity. It helps couples see that conflict isn’t a sign of failure – it’s a sign that something important is trying to emerge. And with the right support, you can use conflict as a gateway to deeper connection.

The Imago Dialogue: Talking (and Listening) in a New Way

One of the core tools in Imago is the Imago Dialogue, a guided way of speaking and listening that invites calm, connection, and emotional safety.

It goes like this:

1. Mirroring: You repeat back what your partner said, word for word or in your own words. It helps them feel heard and helps you stay present, not reactive.

2. Validation: You acknowledge that what they said makes sense from their perspective. This doesn’t mean you agree – just that you understand how they got there.

3. Empathy: You tune in to what they might be feeling: “I imagine you might feel hurt… or frustrated… or lonely.” This deepens emotional connection and helps calm both nervous systems.

This structure might sound simple, but in practice it’s powerful.

Imago for Co-regulation

Have you ever gone from 0 to 100 in a disagreement, or felt your heart race, your body shut down, or your words get stuck? That’s your nervous system doing its job. It’s constantly scanning for cues of safety or danger in your environment – and yes, also in your partner’s tone, posture, words, or silence.

Imago Therapy helps couples create co-regulation – the ability to calm and soothe each other so that you can stay in that connected, open state. The structured dialogue slows things down, reduces emotional flooding, and helps both partners feel safe enough to stay engaged.

Conflict as Opportunity

In the Imago model, conflict is actually an opportunity for growth. It’s a sign that something old, often from childhood, is being activated. But instead of reacting or pulling away, Imago invites you to explore the story beneath the surface and what this brings up for both parties.

Because underneath almost every argument is a longing: to be heard, respected, valued, included, or loved.

Is Imago Right for You?

Imago Therapy can help couples at any stage – whether you’re dating, newly married, navigating parenting, healing from betrayal, or trying to reconnect after years of growing apart. It’s for couples who:

  • Want to improve communication without blame or shame
  • Feel stuck in recurring patterns and want to break the cycle
  • Are healing from past hurts and trying to rebuild trust
  • Long for deeper emotional intimacy
  • Are curious about their own growth and willing to reflect together

What Working Together Looks Like

In sessions, we work together to create a supportive space where both partners feel safe to speak and be heard. We explore what’s really going on beneath the surface of your conflict – and use practical tools like the Imago Dialogue to reconnect and rebuild trust. Typically we spend around 75 minutes per session and spread out the work over several weeks (some see me for a handful of sessions, others continue with long-term therapy)

Over time, many couples report:

  • Feeling more emotionally connected
  • Fewer misunderstandings and faster repair
  • A greater sense of “teamwork” and shared purpose
  • Deeper understanding and compassion for themselves and each other

Want to know more?

To find out more about how we can work together, using Imago or other modalities, don’t hesitate to reach out via phone or email, for a free 15-min discovery call.